Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Lilsi's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, April 17th, 2025
9:42 am	For You <3 So last nights post was mainly because i was upset i couldnt post my video without the sound being taken away. But walla the Germans in fact win and have allowed the music to stay! So Kewego is my new friend <3. Anywayss. Onto the video! This is for you all. <3 (highlight black box, for text) Alot of these pictures have been strategically placed to match with the lyrics. Darn the effort but you are all worth it. <3 If people want to upload videos who are having trouble with YouTube, it may be worth joining. http://www.kewego.co.uk/ Current Mood: calm Current Music: More Time - Needtobreathe (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, November 20th, 2009
12:13 am	UKFur 2009 Awards OK people it has started again. The UKFur 2009 Awards are here. Tomorrow is the start date, we will have 5 days of nomiantions, where you can e-mail us your nominations for each catagory. After the 5 days of nominations we will create a shiny (or not so shiny as the case may be) chart which will show the people who have been nominated for each award. You will then e-mail us again (i know twice, hard work but still for a bit of forum fun it's not too bad) with your choices for the awards. This again will be open for another 5 days (maybe a bit longer if i have time). Then we shall post up the results on the forum and on the UKFur LJ, for y'all to see. Forum Topic: http://forum.ukfur.org/index.php?s=&showtopic=20139&view=findpost&p=539904 UKFur LJ: http://community.livejournal.com/ukfurs/ Tomorrow i will post the final final award choices on the forum and the UKFur LJ and all you need to do is start nominating!! For this stage you can choose two people for each award. Current Mood: creative Current Music: Warmer Climate - Snow Patrol (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
9:30 pm	Actually worth a read, if you are feeling, down/angry/depressed etctetc I dont usually say this, but for once people. Actually read this, i know it is long but it is worth a dime of your time. Ok here is a glimpse inside my head, the way I think things through when concerning the issues of emotions. Because lets face it, people have been raised badly, not by their parents of course but by general society ideals. Boys/Men don’t cry. Girls/Women must act strong and not show when hurt. Note the similarities here, the world is trying to tell you and has in the majority succeeded in manipulating a lot of you into thinking, ‘Emotions are bad’. I’m not talking about the sharing caring loving happy emotions, because the general view to these emotions are, Celebrate it, show the world you are happy and share the joy and love about. But when it comes to the actual really important emotions, the ones which people do actually NEED to share, such as depression, anger, upset, sadness, rage, hissy fits, annoyance and anything generally considered as ‘Negative’. Well what?? We’re told to shut up and deal with it. Now the delving into my mind part! The bit to understand why I do as I do in the way that I do when it comes to dealing with all you folks in emotional situations. We are raised to believe no one wants to see a man cry because it makes them ‘weak’ I’m sorry but what? Complete and utter offence to the dumb fuck who made that one up, Weak to cry, to show HUMAN emotion, to show that oh yes a man actually Feels and cares enough about something to actually cry about it? How exactly is this weak? Simple answer, it’s not. Male or Female, it is not weak to cry. It is not embarrassing to cry over something and to prove a point I will show what I cry at. Name a Disney film, I assure you I’ve cried at the mummy deer dying, the happy ending the fox and the hound having to go different ways. Music, yep if I find a piece of music stunning I will cry at it, The Lion King musical music made me cry, it’s powerful and emotional. Any video shown on red nose day or children’s in need, I will be sat on my sofa crying at it. I cry at musicals when I go to see them because I am happy about being able to be there. I cry at pointless and proper things, I don’t care if someone sees me, it’s an emotion and because it is, it is not a weakness. Seriously people, let out, crying isn’t a big deal, a good sob every now and then is Good for you, and even if you do not give one shit about my opinion and think I know fuck all, it is the god damn honest truth We are raised to apologise for ‘inconveniencing’ people with our problems. Again with the big NO. I made a ranty journal. I made a journal that said I was depressed. I said in my journal I was angry/sad/annoyed/depressed.. So what do I do now? Shit, I told people I personally am feeling Really Bad, showing that I am the one who needs support right now. I totally should apologise for this, You know. I’m Sorry I told you guys I’m sad, you don’t want to know this. How often does this line appear on journals “Sorry, you don’t want to know this.” You’re feeling shit and then thinking, I need to say sorry to people who are my friends because they don’t want to know this? Of course they bloody well do, if they read the journals that are locked, the journals that contain the emotional vents such as I am depressed right now, these are obviously the people you trust and are therefore the people you consider friends. These WILL be the people who Do actually Care about the fact you are feeling shit and need some support. Even if it’s a message on msn saying hey, I’m here if you need to chat. Or a text containing *hug*. Trust me on this, Not many people know this, but when at uni I went to see a counsellor because I got really, really down. The people who got to know this and saw the locked journals know what this is about. I didn’t sit there and contemplate maybe seeing a counsellor shows I am weak. I waited three weeks to see the man, and even though by then I had got over the really crappy rubbish low and depressed feelings I was having I still went to him and I still ranted to him and it god damn helped and it was not weak to do that. But he was not the person that helped me, by the time I managed to get a slot in with him I was over the low I was having, and the people the helped me were the people who I did let see that I was feeling as bad as I was. The people who read my journals, and posted a comment saying they were there for me. Nybras, Outkast, Yag, Tryst etcetc Some of the people who pulled me out of feeling like shit. These people I am sure didn’t feel burdened or put off by the fact that I was feeling down, I am also pretty sure that none of them wanted me to say sorry about telling them I was feeling down. In fact it was the opposite with most of them beating me with sticks every day trying to get me to talk about it so I would get it off my chest and start feeling better and they bloody well persisted and they bloody well did it. In the space of a few weeks their constant ‘we are happy and willing to listen, tell me now’ got me out of the hole I was in. What this journal entry is about people, is for you to try and understand and change your thought process, I don’t want friends who bottle their emotions because they think they are being a liability or are weighing me down with their problems. I want my friends to sit there and think, I’m feeling ‘insert ‘negative’ emotion here’ maybe I can talk to Lilsi or to soandso because they might be able to help in some way. I hate the fact that people go around apologising for feeling down, It is Not Your Fault!!, you don’t wake up and go, today I am fed up of being happy so I am going to be sad for the next month. So stop apologising and start bloody well talking, friends are there to actually listen you know. Cry if you must, If your depressed talk about it, if your angry god damn RANT about it. And for the love of everythingggggg STOP APOLOGISING!! Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: N/A (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
8:19 pm	Soo just wondering. Out of the three people who owe me money. Which of you actually remember that i have leant you (in some cases) A LOT of money. And Which of you are actually ever going to pay me back?. Because you know. Even though paper grows on trees, sadly the money isnt printed on the trees. and i worked fucking hard to get that money and leant it under the agreement that i would get it back. While i was youknow.. Alive still. Comments are screened on this. Current Mood: annoyed (Comment on this)
Monday, July 20th, 2009
11:35 pm	To make things clear. Bizzare is a Fetish Magazine, as someone put perfectly just a while ago ‘good press can be bad press in the wrong place.’ Yea so far the articles have been somewhat tame, but at the end of the day we’re not in some family friendly magazine, we’re being put in an 18+ Fetish Magazine. Can this point be made clear here, and you stop for a second to understand what some of us are trying to point out. FETISH. This is not a light hearted thing, people don’t think of tame things like I enjoy getting the occasional hicckie when they hear this. People instead go off to think weird sex games, bondage and whips. Neither did I pigeonhole the guy. I didn’t sit there and write an attack saying the guy was out to take pictures of us all and irritate us all day and never leave us alone and write bs about us afterwards. I simply stated that not everyone is comfortable with these people turning up to LF meets all the time, even if he is not ‘working’ he will still have his camera, and he will take pictures. I was simply stating that some of us do not want to be associated into pictures taken from this guy. Published in Bizzare or onto his Flicker, or whatever else. I don’t want a picture of me taken by a photographer from a fetish magazine. It’s the same with some suiters, they don’t want their suit being photographed by a fetish magazine photographer. The fact that some people just simply refuse to acknowledge this simple fact and seem to be having a go simply because people are not comfortable with this is just rude. I didn’t once insult this guy. But yet people are happy to attack me and jump to their own conclusions about what I was saying. And so what he’s not been given permission to publish an article on the meet? So, why he can’t get permission later? Or has the consideration been taken that he can still talk to the people about their lives in the furry fandom while at the meet? He doesn’t need permission from the organisers for that one does he? The guy is probably innocent. But all I was trying to actually say is maybe just ONCE, the people should be given the choice about these people turning up. And if they must turn up there should be a section of the pub put aside so that those of us who are uncomfortable with the situation can have a safe area where the photographer can’t take a picture of us. Maybe also a bit of pre-warning would be nice, not the continual oh it’s a week before the meet lets shove this on them now. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: N/A (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 10th, 2009
6:48 am	Dear weirdo furries, Unlike you i tend to keep my actual life and the furry fandom separate. I am not obsessive and it does not rule my life. Hence when you attempt to add me to facebook and you have stupid FURRY PICTURES as your actual picture up i will automatically deny access. On that note if i don't know you, i will also deny you access. You see i'm not some sad immature teenager who is trying to pretend that i have over 200 friends. Lets face it now, none of you do. You may have weirdo fan boys and girls, and you have all met over 200 people. But do you actually talk to those 200 people each week? The simple answer is no. Stop being an attention seeking freak. Try to realise furry is not life. Please don't attempt to add me to facebook again. Because, i will most likely not like you... care to know you.... have any interest in reading about your sad sad day in the life of a 'furry first, human second'. On another note, those who do have me on facebook. Please do not 'tag' me in pictures with random furry stuff in, like suits and furry art work. My life outside the fandom is that, outside and i do like to keep it that way. So remember now. If you have furry crap on your profile, and if i do not know you. I will not add you... Have a good day. While your at it try to get an actual life! Cheers. Current Mood: indifferent Current Music: N/A (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, June 5th, 2009
8:22 pm	Tis a bit late in the day but i was out so since i am back now. Happy Birthday Nido! Hope you have had a great day ^-^ Current Mood: calm Current Music: More Time - Needtobreathe (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, April 27th, 2009
1:34 pm	I bet you thought i forgot ;) buttt HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUSTAN May your day be great *hug* you rock Mr and i hope that you enjoy yourself today and get some shiny shinies to enjoy :p <3 Current Mood: mischievous Current Music: 99 Red Balloons - RBF (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:54 am	HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROST T WOLF May you have a fandabidoozi day hehe ^-^ Current Mood: calm Current Music: N/A (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 14th, 2009
9:15 am	Happy Birthday Matt Lion May you have a great day! Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Never Let Me Down (Comment on this)
Friday, April 10th, 2009
2:15 pm	Holy lorra furs coming tomorrow! It's going to be like catch up meet! :D I keep getting told about more people coming! It's going to be goood! But no Zano! :( No overworking boy come have a play day! *whiness* Me and Kast want you there! Camera battery charged! Camcorder batteries charged. Wanting to know if Miss Ally still wants me to bring Watchmen Film book? :p Who else is coming tomorrow? Current Mood: excited Current Music: Dude Looks Like A Lady - Aerosmith (8 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 8th, 2009
10:54 am	*Runs around happily* Got a letter from Oyster (Gap Year Company) today!! Best thing to happen all week. "The second change is that our employers in Whistler are unable to guarantee you work for the duration of the Olympics, a period of 6 weeks between the beginning of Febuary and the middle of March. On the plus side this will mean that you will be able to enjoy the Olympics as a spectator." *Runs around more* I DON'T HAVE TO WORK WHILE THE OLYMPICS IS ON!!! I CAN WATCH IT OMFG AMAZINGGGGGGGGG *BOUNCESAROUNDMADLY* So unbelivably happy right now! Current Mood: ecstatic Current Music: Arms of the Angel - Angelis (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 9th, 2009
5:11 pm	Lyke omg it's totally someones birthday today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SCI May your day be filled with fun, food, drink and pressies! Current Mood: chipper Current Music: Tribute - TD (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 8th, 2009
11:57 pm	London! Ok so did the usual get up run around and head of to the train station. I got myself a four seater as usual and had two people sat across from me. I did have a lady for a whole 5 minutes until she moved, this was either because the football/rugby fans got to annoying or she did not enjoy hearing my music playing from my MP3. It’s a fair toss between either as I was listening to things like Skindred and Manson. Got to Kingscross and met up with Sloth we then headed over to Victoria and found an Outkast sat sipping some mid-morning tea. We sat for a while and then grudgingly trundled towards the new meet place after finding tube stations that was open. We got to the pub where a whole group of unknowns were there, being the elite snob furs that we are we hid around the corner away from them lol. Thankfully not long after people we knew began turning up, and got a talking. Things soon become a bit busier as more people piled into the pub and many more conversations were held. Caught up a bit with a few furs like Lupus and Alfa also Samia, we all enjoyed our amazing elite corner where only said cool furs could be… *cough* Ok so it was next to the bar and it meant little movement. While sat at a table with me Orange Juice I spotted a figure I thought I recognised, after much spying where Nybras was all who dat who dat? I decided that said fur was in fact the figure I thought it was. I then jumped off my chair and made my way through many fur and poked fur until attention was on me (I’m nice like that). Said fur was in fact Yagfox and I got introduced to Davu and also to Rakhan and also Yarwick. Talked about various events like Confuzzled and Cirque du Rubbish in Laz Vagas and then I was dragged off by OutKast for a bit, where we had a race around I then got a text and ran back in the building and crawled under legs and saved a Sloth. Davuu then gave me this amazing piece of art <3 a nice big thank you to her, not sure if she reads this though! I then dragged Nybras over to Yagfox and more talking was had, then Tryst came in and I got distracted hugged him and then went back to the conversation with Nybras, Yag and Rakhan until me and Nybras both got a text to pick up Volo from the station, so we said our goodbyes and ran off. Went to the wrong tube station because we are clever like that, and then wondered all the way down the river towards embankment to pick up Volo. We met up with him halfway down and then walked back up to the meet. Talked to more people ran off to get some food at Tesco and Subway and headed back. Got back and talked some more and then Sci came in and Al, I was hyper at this point and was bouncing a lot Volo played Bing Bang on his phone and then tried to take it away so I ran away and he chased me and Lupus caught my antics and wagged his finger at me lol. After that I was still bouncing a fair bit and got lifted up multiple times by various people, because I am short and make an easy target and talked to more people like Taho! Unfortunately got groped which did not impress me at all, they know who they are. Also had a few people referring to me as lesbian and dyke rather than my name which gradually got more and more irritating throughout the day. But other than that a good day was had met lots of new people and caught up with some old, the pub then closed and a few of us ran off to the other pub and had an after meet thing. Me, Nybras and Volo got food and munched on that, our table then started a game of where you say a word and make a story, the story got weird quick with the help of Volo using really good long and odd words. Narerusco laminated my picture for me, thank you. Kast had to leave for a yummy curry and after a while Me, Nybras and Volo ran off to get our trains back. Said goodbye to the furs at our table and to Sci, Al, Ash and Pickle. Walked all the way back to Embankment and said goodbye to Volo and then we ran off back to St Pan and Kings Cross, said goodbye to Nybras and ran off to get my train. I sat and put my hood up so I looked like an anti-social teenager and the plot worked and no one sat next to me, the joys of rock music and hoodies. Journey back was uneventful, got off and walked back to house where I made a drink and went to bed. That was about it. Again thanks to Davuu for the arts! Lilsi x Current Mood: calm Current Music: youth gone wild (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 4th, 2009
8:20 am	Drum Roll Yes it is indeed time for another Birthday and today’s sepcial day belongs to that of the Wonderful Mr Yagfox! Sooo without further a-do. Happy Birthday !!! YAGFOX May your day be filled with not much work, relaxation and good food. To celebrate here is your present which has finally been completed, and you waited very patiently to see the finished results. Hope you like :) Sweet 'N Low And where would a bunny be without his friends?   Appropriately pink and purple bunny has the biggest Carrot to suit the occasion! :) ( More bunnies and close ups under the cut as pics are big ) (Yes  this is the 'project' i have been working on.) Enjoy your day good sir!  ^-^ Lilsi x Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Walking on Air - Stephen Bishop (17 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, December 22nd, 2008
6:30 pm	Huge Meme of Doom! Woh two in two days, but this one was made by me because this is how bored I am. 1) What is the most important thing in your life? My friends are the single most important thing in my life, without these people, you. I would most likely be completely depressed and empty. My friends alone have helped me get past the most difficult times in my life and have always supported me throughout hard times I have gone through. 2) What song currently moves you and why? Remember When It Rained - by Josh Groban. I am not actually sure but for some reason the lyrics in this song just calm me. It is a song about love but also pain. Josh sings it in such a way that you can’t help but be moved. It gives me feelings of longing, calmness/contentment, humility, determination and happiness. To me it is truly moving and is powerful in a sense, there is also a lovely Piano solo near the end but throughout the instruments are beautifully played and make the song that much more.  (song lyrics, and link to video can be seen at the bottom) 3) What is your biggest dream/goal in life? My biggest dream or goal in life is to get to Canada, Sledge with some dogs, see wild wolves and see the Aurora Borealis. It is a dream I have had for 7 long years and the dream has not changed. My sole purpose in my life at the moment is to get my degree so I can achieve this goal. To see Canada has been a dream that has stayed with me unwavering and I think the moment I step foot on Canadian ground I will most likely start crying. 4) In your life who has been the most important person to you and why? Craig. He is the most important person in my life, he is probably the closest I will ever get to having a soul mate. The amount of things we have in common is huge and alarming. We often come out with the same sentence which has got to be one of the most special things you could share with a person when you both think that much alike. He was the one person who has always been there for me when I have needed someone and he helped me so much when my mother out-ed me and I had the worst 6 months of my life. I would do anything to prevent harm coming to him and I would happily give my life for his. He is the closest I have to a brother and is to me in all sense of the word my family. 5) If you won the lottery what would you do with the money? I would pay dads mortgage off, buy mother and sister a small house each and buy myself a house and move my nearest and dearest in with me. I would put the rest into savings and each year give a certain amount to specific charities. I would volunteer work for the rest of my life (providing I won enough not to work that is) in various animal shelters. 6) If you had to loose your sight or your hearing which would you choose and why? I would loose my sight as it is really not that important. To loose my hearing would be totally devastating to me as I have such a love for music and musicals in my life. To not be able to hear my friends voices would be painful since through hearing you can hear a declaration of love or laughter of the people you hold dear. To not be able to hear a friends laughter or a moving piece of music would really be terrible and to live in a world of noiselessness would be like torture. 7) Have you ever been in love, how many times, how long for and who with? I have been in love once, I was in love for well over 3 years. Her name was Lucy, she was the first and only love in my life (so far). We first dated for around 4 months when I first discovered I was gay, of course at that point in my life I was scared and didn’t want to believe it. We broke up and then around half a year later we started dating again. The second time around it lasted 7 months and two weeks. We broke up because of distance, again it was me and it was for the reason that I felt she could do better and have someone who could actually be there for her and hold her whenever she needed someone. Being so far apart from each other I felt that I was depriving her of having a physical love, and by this I do not mean sex I mean just having someone to hold her hand, hug her and generally be there for her on a day to day basis. It was one of the hardest things I ever did and it hurt a lot. I didn’t speak for day after it happened, which alarmed my friends somewhat. It took me well over a year to get over her and to my belief I will always love her as I personally feel that we never let our first loves go. 8) Who is your idol/role model and why? I have two of these. My first being Freddie Mercury because he came up with some of the most powerful and recognisable songs in history, there will be very few people in the world who would not have heard Bohemian Rhapsody or We Will Rock You etc. He kept singing throughout his illness and his last album has to have some of the most moving lyrics I’ve ever heard. He was not a confident man at all in life and he never ever said Queen was his band, never ever taking compliments for just himself but the others in Queen too. His death was a true loss to the world but his music will live on. The other is Alan Cumming a man who is by far brimming with confidence, he has had an interesting life and after a break down he came out of it stronger with a fuck what the world thinks attitude. He is amazing at all he does and puts 100% into everything he participates in. He has written a beautiful book, he acts both in theatre and in films. He has done voice work and he has directed. He is also a comedian and a singer and even though he may not be the best person at all these things in the world his passion behind doing them prevents you from disliking him. He has a happy go lucky attitude and I would love to meet him, although if I did I could see myself turning into some kind of sad fan girl and going shy or over babble. 9) What would your dream job be? This one is hard for me to answer because I am torn between two choices that I would enjoy. I would love to do some kind of work on the west end with musicals since I have such an obsession with them and enjoy them so much. But at the same time I am not much of a singer/actor/dancer so it is a far cry from reality. The second job would be to work with canines, something along the lines of helping dogs that have suffered abuse/neglect. I would like to help dogs that have suffered to come back to a normal state of mind where they no longer fear humans or objects/sounds so that they could be re-homed and not be put down. 10) What would your most ideal romantic setting be? (Bring on the sap!) Mine would be on a mountain with a full moon and the stars out. There would be trees covering the mountain and snow covering the ground, cabin and tress but not actually snowing. There would be a shining lake further down the mountain, around a 15 minute stroll so if you look out the window you could see it clearly but it wouldn’t be overbearing right next to the cabin. I would be inside a log cabin with the fire crackling softly, there would be a large fluffy rug on the floor next to the fire place. I would be sat on a sofa stretched out with my loved one in my arms, they would be leaning against me and my arms would be around their waist and their hands would be resting on mine. Their head would be resting against my chest and my head would be resting on top of theirs. We would not be taking but just relaxing together while listening to some soft music in the background. Ok I just let you see into my head! I would love for you guys who have bothered to read this to give it a go and answer as honestly as you can allow yourselves to be. I know a lot of these questions are a bit personal so if you want to skip some feel free. But I would love to see this meme spread over LJ because I am bias as I wrote it!! Go onn pleaseeeeeee <3 Also feel free to ask me any other questions if you feel I’ve left anything out. Let the Lilsi Meme live!! Edit: If you do make this can you comment in here so i can see how many people do it! Current Mood: content Current Music: Remember When It Rained by Josh Groban (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, November 16th, 2008
6:27 pm	Suit wearers i am in need of your services. Of the ones who clean their suits anyway... I am looking for a spray which can be used on fabric and will kill bacteria, i know a few of you use sprays in your heads to keep them clean since they arnt able to go in the washymachine. Would you be able to post a picture/name of the spray you use in your heads? I found this one but i'm not sure if that is the one most of you guys use. This is the cloest one i've found thats able to use on fabric! http://www.febreze.com/en_US/fabric_refresher_antimicrobal.do Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: If I Can Dream - Robson and Jerome (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 5th, 2008
8:26 am	Camcorderness http://www.comet.co.uk/shopcomet/product/452530/JVC-GZ-MG330(BLUE)/tab/specification So this is the Camcorder I am getting, it shall arrive some time tomorrow and I will play with it! It is a quite decent one although I am now poor from ordering it >.< But it is an x-mas pressie so I get the majority back thankfully, but I paid for the 5 year insurance and the 8GB SD card for it. I need to find out what battery to buy as well as I will need a spare as it only lasts for around an hour supposedly so I will buy a high-standard battery once i find out from JVC which one the camera takes. What you thinks? Side note: Massive thank you to Tryst and Mike who helped me loads with finding this camera and giving me info because I had no idea what to look for and what SD card to buy *technotard*.. And to Rhosyn who saved me bones when Comet played up lol <3 loves to all Current Mood: content Current Music: Tryst Rock Box (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 20th, 2008
8:31 pm	Nostalgia!! Gush time! i love this song it is powerful, moving and the lyrics are lovely. You just can't beat the old songs.. <3 Sod the crap that comes out now days.. bring back the 80's ^-^ Current Mood: content Current Music: Whole of the Moon - Waterboys (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, July 4th, 2008
7:32 pm	For me two lufflyssss <3 Hope you two like it :D Thanks to Sangluna as well it be perfecto! Current Mood: content Current Music: Punping Iron - Starlight Express (12 Comments |Comment on this)